Therapy

Addiction = Isolation

By Megan Murphy, Co-Founder

When addiction takes over, it becomes the secret lover. It is protected at all costs. If it’s not kept under wraps to some degree, it’s because the addict has found other comrades to use with, gravitating to the ‘fun’ friends, etc.It was only last year that I watched the Mathew Perry interview with Diane Sawyer, where he detailed, bravely, his intense relationship with drugs. It was heartbreaking. He did a great service by being so vulnerable. On the one hand I thought that his admissions might greatly increase his chances to stay clean. On the other hand, I could see that the struggle was very much alive.

Hug from God

Someone described the experience of using heroin, and I’m paraphrasing here, as “getting a hug from God”. I remember getting something put in my IV in the hospital for pain, and I can relate to this. Life is really hard. The feeling of a God hug is really good.Addiction is not a moral failing or a sign of general weakness. Some people are hardwired to have a more difficult time with addiction. Oftentimes it runs in families. When I’m working with a client who is battling some form of addiction, I know that I can’t just say, “Quit that!” Because I know that the experience, the relationship, started as a tool to feel better in the first place. Now, deeper in, the relief is brief and the tail of destruction is long. As a therapist, I need to build safety and rapport, and then the client must lead in the recovery journey. The addict can only do this for themself.

Recovery = Connection

In 12 Step it’s commonly said that the opposite of addiction is connection. Getting into a room with other people that are struggling in ways that you are can be a lifesaver. This is so very hard to do if one is not ready to admit how bad the struggle is, therefore not wanting to be associated with that group of people. I was recently in a meeting supporting a friend, and I was reminded of how incredibly touching it is to hear people speak their truth, no matter how vulnerable they had to be. When I first sat in the chair with all of these other strangers, I felt nothing. By the end of the meeting my heart was open to every one of them. Human beings are amazing.If you or someone you know is struggling, know that what they need is love and connection. This doesn’t mean not having boundaries, but love and connection can be in your heart. Getting help, no matter how large or small the problem is, starts with talking to someone. We are here to help. Please reach out.