The concept of the self is incredibly elusive. Ever fleeting, swayed, and obscure. 

Each day, we’re pulled further and further from that which is inherent in us - our power, our love, our joy, our ease - our self.

Oxford Languages defines ‘self’ as being “a person's essential being that distinguishes them from others, especially considered as the object of introspection or reflexive action.” 

If our being is essential to us - personal to us - and distinguishes our self from other selves, why is it so difficult to define it and tap into it? After all, it is what makes us who we are.

We are all born with a self that is fed through the socialization that occurs in the many webs of our lives: family, school, mass media, politics, religion, etc. These are the threads that help make up the fabric of our lives. 

However, it often feels like those very threads that make us up are the same ones unraveling us.

An unfortunately common instance that can cause such unraveling is being a parentified child. This is an experience I can personally relate to, as growing up, I was the only girl in my Caribbean family. Thus, I was expected to take on a care-giving role that took me away from the care-receiving role of a child. 

This giving quality was nurtured so much to the point that I became an adult who often gives and gives, without realizing that many people are satisfied with endlessly taking and not reciprocating.

Once I recognized that this was a problem behavior I was exhibiting, I worked to course correct through the understanding that I cannot continue to pour from an empty cup.