Therapy

6 Common Misconceptions About Therapy

Nick Fager, Founder of Expansive Therapy

The way we view therapy is heavily influenced by the media, our family of origin, our circle of friends, social media, and our greater culture. Unfortunately, many of the conceptions that we hear are pretty far off from the actual experience of therapy in today's world, and they can make starting therapy feel more intimidating. In this article, we'll debunk the 6 most common misconceptions that we hear about therapy.

My therapist will give me advice or tell me what to do.

Therapy is often presented as a place to go for advice on what to do or how to handle important life situations, but ultimately the purpose of therapy is to provide a trusting, nonjudgmental space where you will gain insight into yourself. From this greater understanding of self you can determine your path forward. The first thing that therapists get told in grad school is not to give advice or try to manage their clients’ lives for them. Your therapist will use their skills to guide you to your emotional truths, but your actual life decisions are yours to make.

I will have to face all my demons as soon as I start therapy.

We often think of therapy as a place where we will have to face all the stuff we've been repressing, but this narrative leaves out one very important quality of therapy, which is pacing. Therapists are trained to go at whatever pace feels right for you. For the most part, we believe that trust must be established for deeper healing to take place, and we expect that it will take time for certain things to come out. Your therapist will not pressure you to go deeper before you are ready, they will gently encourage healthy vulnerability while respecting your boundaries and needs.

I must be weak, broken, or crazy to go to therapy.

We hear this one much less in 2024 than we did 10 years ago, but we still hear it! There is a cultural narrative that therapy means you are somehow broken and in need of fixing, or that you’ve gone off the deep end.

We view therapy like we view going to the gym, or the chiropractor, or yoga. Why should your mental health be viewed any differently than your physical health? Checking in and working on your mental health regularly builds up a healthy nervous system and fosters resilience. Therapy sessions can help us to avoid emotional build-ups, to process trauma, to avoid falling into unhealthy patterns, to strengthen your relationship with yourself and others, and to understand your own defenses and learn to work through them.

My therapist will give me advice or tell me what to do.

I will have to face all my demons as soon as I start therapy.

I must be weak, broken, or crazy to go to therapy.

My therapist will give me advice or tell me what to do.

I will have to face all my demons as soon as I start therapy.

I must be weak, broken, or crazy to go to therapy.

My therapist will sit behind me taking notes as I lie on a couch.

This is a very traditional form of therapy that is very rare in today’s world, but it still seems to be a common representation in films and television. Most therapists are sitting across from you, making eye contact, engaged and present. At Expansive Therapy, we view therapy as foundationally relational, with trust at the core of healing. Our therapists take notes when necessary but always try their best to stay present, hold emotional space, and be real with you.

My therapist will blame my parents for everything.

It’s a common therapy joke that everything goes back to your mom or dad, and it is very probable that your therapist will invite you to explore your relationships and history with your family of origin. However, there is always so much more to the picture, and we see parents and family within the greater context of culture, history, and identity.

We make a lot of room for your emotions around family while also drawing attention to the here and now, and how you might be recreating internalized patterns in your present day life. Family of origin explorations can be a good jumping off point as opposed to the ultimate answer for your difficulties.

I’ll be stuck with one therapist even if I don't like them.

It can be daunting to think about investing in a therapist and then realizing it’s not quite a match, especially after opening up about your life experiences and difficulties. It can even be difficult to know if your therapist is the right fit for you at the beginning of therapy.

We take this into account at Expansive Therapy and make switching therapists simple and stress free. We offer free consultations before your first session, and our office manager is very adept at managing requests to switch therapists after you’ve started therapy.

Our therapists are also trained in this area and don’t take it personally when a client decides to switch therapists. We all recognize that we are not going to be the right match for everyone, and our top priority is giving you a positive therapy experience.